It is a good idea however im slightly confused about who killed who but i think i understand. But i think when showing the blind man to kill the new social worker you could leave him in the room and the blind man could then put the poison in the cup to show the blind man is cunning and he can do anything to get revenge on the guy even if he is blind and then walk into the living room to hand the drink. I like the idea of the articles and i think yuh should actually make them to make a realisation effect. In addition you need to make it clear that the new guy is related to this murder. Overall good pitch.
i like where your coming from in term of storyline. However,it is kind of confussing because i dont understand who has killed who. i think the blind man should be the one that comes into the office and the other guy in the office should be the blind mans son. The blind man should get poisoned, including effects of him looking dizzy, fainting and then havin a black out, however doesnt die and is in a hospital bed or some kind of bed talking to someone saying "im going to find that person who tried to kill me, if its the last thing i do" not knowing that it was his son...
i like your idea, you can see the thriller element but just like everyone its difficult to understand who is trying to posion who. i think if you looked back into it, you can work on it and maybe just give a glimpse of what the narrative is, without giving it away. also, end the opening to that makes the audience want to watch on. Farjana R
The pitch was well presented. I liked you're idea and the genre was established very clearly. I think you have a range of shots and your story is unique.
The story is quiet interesting an i would watch this film in the cinema.However,it is kind of confussing because i dont understand who has killed who. I think that the blind man should be the 1 that should be poisoned instead of the man that comes in i think u should change that bit an maybe finish the opening just a bit before were u finished your pitch because it sounds more interesting.
It is a good idea however im slightly confused about who killed who but i think i understand. But i think when showing the blind man to kill the new social worker you could leave him in the room and the blind man could then put the poison in the cup to show the blind man is cunning and he can do anything to get revenge on the guy even if he is blind and then walk into the living room to hand the drink. I like the idea of the articles and i think yuh should actually make them to make a realisation effect. In addition you need to make it clear that the new guy is related to this murder. Overall good pitch.
ReplyDeleteStacey :)
i like where your coming from in term of storyline. However,it is kind of confussing because i dont understand who has killed who. i think the blind man should be the one that comes into the office and the other guy in the office should be the blind mans son. The blind man should get poisoned, including effects of him looking dizzy, fainting and then havin a black out, however doesnt die and is in a hospital bed or some kind of bed talking to someone saying "im going to find that person who tried to kill me, if its the last thing i do" not knowing that it was his son...
ReplyDeleteSelysia x
i like your idea, you can see the thriller element but just like everyone its difficult to understand who is trying to posion who. i think if you looked back into it, you can work on it and maybe just give a glimpse of what the narrative is, without giving it away. also, end the opening to that makes the audience want to watch on.
ReplyDeleteFarjana R
The pitch was well presented. I liked you're idea and the genre was established very clearly. I think you have a range of shots and your story is unique.
ReplyDeleteDilwar.
The story is quiet interesting an i would watch this film in the cinema.However,it is kind of confussing because i dont understand who has killed who. I think that the blind man should be the 1 that should be poisoned instead of the man that comes in i think u should change that bit an maybe finish the opening just a bit before were u finished your pitch because it sounds more interesting.
ReplyDeleteRizwaan